Journal

  • The Winter Break To Do List

    Posted Dec 14th, 2004 in Journal With | Comments Off

    Because it’s a rather long list click read more to see it, and I promise you will enjoy it.

    Update by Streeter Seidell on College Humor

    • 1. Get Dad to let me do easy work around the house so I don’t have to pick up crappy shifts at old job.
    • 2. Bang hot girl from high school that I talked to on IM a few times over the semester.
    • 3. Wear school hoodie and/or sweat pants as much as possible.
    • 4. Convince Mom and Dad to let me take car back to school with me; use excuse that “I’m always late for Bio because it’s on other side of campus and the bus never comes on time.â€?
    • 5. Avoid shoveling snow and/or raking yard by complaining of back pain; get Vicadin prescription to sell once back at school.
    • 6. Eat as much non-diarrhea-causing food as possible.
    • 7. Promise myself I will work out; sit on couch.
    • 8. Complain about how boring town is after first three days.
    • 9. Make unreasonable New Years plans with high school friend; end up at basement party thrown by said high school friend’s little brother.
    • 10. Take advantage of Mom and Dad’s superior “Movies On Demandâ€? digital cable package.
    • 11. Craft believable lies about how cool my semester was to impress attentive high school friends. NOTE: make sure to offer to “totally call my roommateâ€? in case high school friend doubts sincerity of story.
    • 12. Protest loudly about decorating the house for Christmas since, “I’m only gonna be here for a few more weeks…what’s the point?â€?
    • 13. Go through “historyâ€? on house computer; learn that little brother is interested in marine animals, rap music and Swedish girl-on-girl.
    • 14. Convince parents that more money is needed to purchase textbooks for next semester; offer to “mail you the receipt if you don’t believe me.â€? NOTE: Do not mail receipt.
    • 15. Make fun of “townieâ€? friends that didn’t attend college; overlook the fact that they make much more money than I do.
    • 16. Reminisce about High School at bar with old friend; use phrases such as, “Jeeeeeezus, did we really do that?,â€? “Man, I can’t believe how old we are,â€? and “Oh God, Shirley Hanson…Soooooo hot back then…I hear she had a kid.â€?
    • 17. Drive past High School numerous times; wish I could go back and do it again. NOTE: Never admit to wishing to go back to High School.
    • 18. Get extremely excited to see family dog; realize after ten minutes that he farts and drools all the time; put dog outside for rest of break.
    • 19. Call college friends immediately after Christmas to brag about presents; pretend iPod is 40 Gig version when it is really 20 Gig version.
    • 20. Wish break would end so I can get back to school and party; immediately after returning to school complain about workload and shitty class schedule; wish it was break again.
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